Journal
Spring 1998
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Construction
Zone: Building for Family Ministry
Is
Your Home a Grace Place?
An
Essential Quality
Family
Foundations
Growing
In Faith Together
Leaders
for Family Ministry
Sound
the Alarm!
Building for Family Ministry
by Marilyn Bader
Construction zone! The words conjure images of workers poring over blueprints of structures yet to be built. This is what you would have seen-literally and figuratively-had you attended the Summit of Family Friendly Congregations in Dallas a few months ago. Surrounded by blueprints, Legos and other construction materials, participants interacted with phenomenal plenary speakers and workshop leaders who unfolded the critical issues facing today's families and churches. The Summit addressed these concerns by focusing on leadership development and models of family ministry.
"Framing Family Ministry" with Lou Jander helped us zero in on past and current congregational trends and their implications for family ministry. Building on this framework, Roland Martinson walked us through how the changes in American families have created confusion and toxicity. In light of the needs facing families today, three models of ministry emerged: 1) building bridges from existing ministries, 2) building a family ministry team and 3) building the family-congregation partnership.
Barry Keurulainen shepherded us through Ephesians 3:14-21, helping us understand the greatness of God's power that strengthens His workers on earth. Phyllis Wallace encouraged us to wear hard hats for protection instead of becoming hard-hearted in the face of obstacles. And she reminded us that grace is the gift that keeps us from coming unglued.
We also learned that there is no one-size-fits-all model for family ministry. Many congregations are already doing wonderful things in this area. The Summit tried to help all participants evaluate what is happening in family ministry and to provide a ministry model from which each congregation can develop its own vision of family ministry.
Texas District President Jerry Kieschnick presented a workshop focusing on a crucial dimension that cements any ministry effort-leadership. Christian leaders must be rooted and grounded in prayer and faith. To empower leaders-both professional and volunteer-congregations need to look for people of competence and vision who recognize not only their own abilities and limitations but are able to equip and mentor others to assist in the work.
Other workshops featured a wide spectrum of topics from marriage to mentoring and early childhood ministry to the sandwich generation. You could have tuned into "Unplug Your Kids" or created family mission statements. This construction zone had it all! And if your plate wasn't full after the workshops, the Idea Factory and exhibits added the finishing touch. It was a contractor's dream-everything you needed to construct your own "do-it-yourself" family ministry!
The construction process would have been incomplete, however, without sitting at the feet of the Master Architect. The devotions, the songs of praise, the chance to pray for and with each other all modeled the Christ-centered love so foundational to family ministry. This cornerstone component was as crucial at the conference as it is in our churches. The love of Christ is the motivation for our construction process in the first place!
Since not all of you were able to attend the Summit, this issue of LFA Journal summarizes some of what happened in the construction zone and gives you ideas you can implement in your family ministry.
Marilyn Bader from St. Louis, Missouri, served as facilitator at the LFA's Summit of Family Friendly Congregations.
by David J. Ludwig and Sally J. Hiller
The influence of the home is primary and powerful-and that is the way God intended it to be. Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it, Proverbs 22:6 reminds us. The home can indeed become the primary center for spiritual growth when:
* parents form a united front and work as partners in faith formation
* parents demonstrate their own faith in daily life
* parents teach the family about values and culture
* the family regularly speaks to and listens to God
* forgiveness becomes a hallmark of the family
On the other hand, the home ceases to be the primary center for faith formation when:
* God is not spoken there
* values are not addressed
* no one talks to or cares for each other
* TV and peers are allowed to form attitudes
* the emotional center of life is elsewhere
It's easy to see that what happens at home is of vital importance to the church. The home must be a constant and deliberate focus of our attention, because that's where faith is strengthened and nourished. What are the implications of this truth for Christian churches?
First of all, the congregation itself must function as a family, modeling the forgiveness and grace of God. Parents must be trained to be spiritual leaders and to nurture their family's spiritual life. Each member of our churches should be seen as a minister of reconciliation for hurting families. And finally, the congregation must be a safe place for all families.
Is your church a grace place? Is your own home a grace place? In His Son, God has freely given us grace upon grace (John 1:16). Wherever Jesus is, that's a grace place! Let Him permeate your life, your home and your church with His amazing grace.
This article was adapted from material developed by Dr. David J. Ludwig and Deaconess Sally J. Hiller for the LCMS Southeastern District Family Ministry Task Force.
esž senž tial--n. An absolutely necessary element or quality
by Marge Franzen
This spring I attended the LFA Summit of Family Friendly Congregations and found a full schedule of a variety of insightful speakers and many practical workshops. As I did my sponge imitation, just soaking things up, I found my thoughts crystallizing on the essential.
God-who is love-is essentially relational. And we are created to be like Him-relational, not alone. It is sin that isolates us. Adam and Eve fell out of their relationship with God and found their relationship with each other crumbling into isolation. It is this crisis of aloneness that God sent His Son to heal. It is this crisis of aloneness with which individuals and families struggle.
This same crisis of aloneness must be dealt with as we apply God's restoring grace in our ministry with families. It is essential that we all know the healing that a relationship with God brings to us as He reclaims us. The healing we receive from relating with God is what brings health to all our other relationships. Loving God puts us in the position to love our neighbor, spouse, family members, and to encourage them to fall in love with God.
As a congregation develops ministry, we operate on that same essential. The family is a miniature congregation, growing in relationship with God and applying the grace of God to all other relationships. The congregation is one large family of God, growing together and supporting each other. Both are areas of ministry that make the love God has given us lonely individuals become a reality in our relationships.
I came home from the Summit aware of the essential. God's loving relationship with me is essential as I carry on my ministry of relating as a wife, a mother, a friend, a servant in God's church. As I face choices in all of those relational ministries, I'll keep my focus on the essential.
Marge Franzen is a parish assistant for adult education at Peace Lutheran Church in Lombard, Illinois.
by Lou Jander
Families have experienced many changes over the past 200 years. Families will continue to experience changes. As a result, churches continue to struggle with how best to be in ministry with and to families. What are some of the influences that impact families?
Experiences and incidents from the past. So much of what happens in our families is influenced by what the parents have experienced in their own individual families and the incidents that have transpired over their lifetimes and within the family relationships.
Circumstances and events. Job changes, vacations, death of immediate family members and numerous other significant happenings impact the family system.
World views. The world continues to shrink as information is shared in newspapers, on television and via the Internet. The relationships between people from different parts of the world have an impact on how the family is perceived.
Dreams and expectations for the future. Sometime ago I read a book that contained this quote in response to the question, when are you old? "You are old when you stop dreaming dreams about the future." It's not a chronological issue. Each person has expectations about what the future holds for his or her own life as well as for the lives of different family members.
Decisions and choices. We make a variety of decisions in our family lifetime-decisions about where we will live, the jobs family members will have, the amount of money spent on many different things, the church to attend, the places to vacation, and on and on. All these decisions, while sometimes not seen as important or major, do indeed affect how the family relates and functions.
Family stages and transitions. Moving from no children to one child or more, passing through the different age cycles of the children and parents, and experiencing the aging of adult parents all create points of transition and adjustment. Each stage affects the relationships, attitudes and values of family members. Each stage creates possible tension points to work through.
Family continuity and constant change. Keeping families moving through the events and transitions of life necessitates that we deal with change and continuity. One thing we can be sure of: things will change. What we know today, what we experience today, what we learn today, all will mean change in our lives.
As we consider the influences that impact families, we must keep in mind the significant role parents play in influencing their children. Studies continue to indicate the importance parents have on shaping values, morals and beliefs. Sometimes we would like to think that other things around us really shape our children, but ultimately we need to own up to the simple fact that parents' lifestyle, language, activities and spiritual beliefs make a difference as children embark on their life and faith journeys.
The National Study of Adults and Youth conducted within the LCMS in 1994 provided us with some important data about family faith talk and family faith growth experiences. How much talk about faith do you suppose takes place between parents and children? Adults and youth were asked to think back to ages 5-12 and 13-18 and indicate how much talk about faith occurred both with mom and with dad. The following graphs show the percentage indicating "a lot" or "quite a lot."
| Adults | Youth |
Had Family Projects in Which
We Helped Other People
__24%___22%______27%__30%
___Age 5-12________Age 13-18___
Talked With Father About Faith
__13%__13%______13%__16%____
Ages 5-12________Ages 13-18____
Talked with Mother About Faith
___24%___22%______27%___30%__
___Ages 5-12________Ages 13-18____
In just these few illustrations, there is much to ponder. Even if you consider just plain old family talk, these figures are quite low. It's a real challenge for us today to spend time just talking with one another. In the past, meal times were good times for family talk. Now with so many different activities going on and everyone headed in different directions, families don't sit down together around the dinner table for family talk.
Here are some things you might want to try, some things that could challenge you:
* Identify at least five meals per week when the family can gather together around the table. There might just be some time for talk.
* On the ride home from church and Sunday school or Bible class, spend time talking about the experiences of the day, what each person learned, how that might apply to daily life and to family relationships. Share personal faith experiences that the lessons at church have touched.
* Mothers and fathers, spend some time with your children and talk about faith issues. It might be necessary to set aside specific time each week to do this.
* Identify ways you can serve others as a family. This, too, will take some intentional planning, but don't let that get in the way! It's a great experience to work together helping others. Then follow that up with some good old conversation.
* Make your own additions to this list. Add your own plans for enriching areas of family faith talk and family service experiences. You can be assured it will make a big difference.
Louis C. Jander (DCE) is Mission & Ministry Facilitator for the LCMS Texas District.
by Linda Sund
What does your church do to encourage families to grow in faith together? How do you link generations together to form a blessed "tie that binds"? Do you support parents in their role as the primary nurturers of their children's faith in Jesus?
Imagine a place where parents, children, people of all ages and stages of life come together to share their faith stories, to teach each other and to learn from each other. Imagine them learning, sharing, serving, growing, being the body of Christ in an interactive, multi-sensory, intergenerational setting.
Some churches have moved beyond imagining this; they are doing it. Perhaps you will want to consider experimenting with it at your church. An easy-to-adapt structure might look like this:
Pre-service Music. As the people arrive, music draws the group into your setting through songs and a time for greetings and fellowship. (10-15 minutes prior to starting time)
Opening. Sing songs of praise, celebration and worship with hands free for clapping, actions and more. Welcome people and introduce the topic for the day. Prepare a skit or other short presentation that presents the topic in a "light" way. This might resemble a children's message or could be a slide or video presentation. (10 minutes)
Teaching Time. Begin with an opening prayer and follow with a personal story that ties in with the message for the day. Each week, the teacher prepares and plans for a variety of presentation methods. Creativity and innovation are important, but remember to focus on one or two key points each week. A simple message presented in a compelling manner is powerful. (15 minutes)
Home Huddles. Give people a chance to process the information, discuss questions and share how things have been going in their lives. Provide a project appropriate to the topic for the group to do together. Also consider service projects or times to gather in fellowship beyond the time allotted on Sunday morning. (20 minutes)
Blessing. All gather together again for another song and a time of wrap-up and reflection. Be sure to issue a "charge" for families to continue talking about the topic at home. Allow participants to give a benediction to each other, to send each other on their way covered by God's love and protection. (5 minutes)
Linda Sund is Assistant to the Pastor in Children's Ministry at Trinity Lutheran Church in Lisle, Illinois.
If you have a family ministry idea to share, please send it to Lutheran Family Association, 1333 S. Kirkwood Road, St. Louis, Missouri, 63122.
The following article is based on a presentation by Rev. Gerald Kieschnick at the Summit of Family Friendly Congregations. Dr. Kieschnick is president of the LCMS Texas District.
If you've been involved in construction, you know that the general contractor is someone who oversees the building project. Subcontractors have a relationship with the general contractor who, in turn, has a relationship with the owner. Leaders in family ministry are like general contractors. They provide direction for other workers. Ten characteristics of effective leaders can be drawn from Ephesians 3:14-21.
A leader is a person of humility.
(I kneel before the Father, v. 14)
A leader is aware of being in the presence of Somebody significant and important. A leader says, "God, I'm a tool placed on earth to do something; help me to do that." And the leader has to be willing to take a risk.
A leader is a person of prayer.
(I pray, v. 16)
Sometimes we don't really understand and grab hold of the power of prayer. Prayer is direct communication with the Heavenly Father; prayer is an expression of our relationship with the Lord. We all have challenges in our lives and ministries. Prayer cannot be overemphasized as a source of strength, power, insight, and grace.
A leader is a person of faith.
(So that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith, v. 17)
Faith, in the words of Hebrews 11:1, is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Faith is a given in the life of a Christian leader. There is a genuine confidence and trust that the Lord will keep His promises. He will provide what you need, when you need it, to accomplish the work He calls you to do.
A leader is a person of love.
(Being rooted and established in love, v. 17)
This is self-giving love, a love that is impossible for us as human beings to create. It's the kind of love that God gives us in Jesus Christ.
A leader is a person of power.
(He may strengthen you with power, v. 17)
Power, in the wrong hands, with the wrong motivation, can be a negative commodity. But, properly understood, in the hands and in the life of a Christian leader, power has the capacity to be a wholesome, godly influence in the lives of people.
A leader is a person of vision.
(May grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, v. 18)
Vision comes from trying to see and understand the magnitude of the love of Christ. A leader has to communicate that vision so that followers will grab hold of it and own it. Vision is collaborative, not unilateral.
A leader is a person of competence.
(To know this love that surpasses knowledge, v. 19)
Competence is more than just cerebral; it is also visceral, understanding the task and having the courage and capability to do it.
A leader is a person of God.
(Filled to the measure of all the fullness of God, v. 19)
A person of God has an understanding of who he or she is under God's grace and is not content to simply sit and soak it all up but is eager to be a channel of the blessings God has given.
A leader is a person who recognizes limitations.
(His power at work within us, v. 20)
Recognizing limitations and being a person of vision are compatible traits. A Christian leader can't set forth any wild-eyed scheme. The person of vision needs the insight to lead people coupled with the wisdom to anticipate obstacles and overcome them.
A leader is a person who gives glory to Jesus Christ.
(To him be glory, v. 21)
The glory belongs to Jesus Christ. Amen!
How do you go about finding leaders? Sometimes someone with all ten characteristics may not be available. Can you accept someone with five? The task is the Lord's, and He will accomplish it. We are simply privileged to be His instruments as He does His transforming work in the lives of people.
by Ben J. Freudenburg
I believe there is a crisis today in faith development, and courageous churches are sounding the alarm. My sense is that knowledge of Scripture is at an all-time low. Think about the people you know. How familiar are they with the Word of God?
Think about our American culture, which no longer embraces God's values. How long has it been acceptable to kill the unborn or terminally ill? Think about the worldly values teens and adults embrace. Cohabitation is acceptable; divorce is common; premarital sexual relationships are often the norm.
American families don't realize their power and influence. Research tells us that, even though mom and dad's influence lessens as children grow older, it always represents a more powerful influence than any other in a child's life. Just think how powerful the family is in the faith development of a child.
That's why family ministry is much more than classes on discipline, marriage enrichment seminars and family retreats. These are part of family ministry, but the heart of family ministry is training and supporting homes to nurture the faith.
The home is truly the primary agent for faith formation. God designed it that way so the faith could be passed on from one generation to the next. That's why faith nurture is "family ministry"-preparing leaders in the home to teach Scripture, to pray regularly together and to instill God's values. What an opportunity the church has to impact the next generation and the American culture as each Christian home is equipped to bring up children in the love and teachings of Christ.
Imagine. Each home in your congregation is a teaching station, deliberately preparing family members to reflect the light of Christ, salting their community with God's love and will. The church is the training station that empowers and equips each home to be an effective teaching station.
Do you like the dream? Be careful. To pursue it means changing the way you do ministry. It calls for a paradigm shift from church-centered ministry to home-centered ministry. This is an overhaul of the way we program our churches. It is a countercultural move. Our culture demands that the church, like other organizations and institutions, be and do for families what they could be doing for themselves-teaching the faith.
Courageous churches are not only sounding the alarm, they are making the shift to family ministry that helps the home be the center of faith formation.
Ben. J. Freudenburg is Minister to the Christian Home at Concordia Lutheran Church, Kirkwood, Missouri.
Portions of this article appeared in the November/December 1997 issue of Vital Ministry, a magazine for church leaders, Group Publishing, Loveland, Colorado. Used with permission.
Spring 1998
LFA Journal
Executive Director Jim Schlie
Editor Janice Kerper Brauer
Design & Production Lois
Schroeder
Contributing Editor David Ludwig
LFA Journal is published Lutheran Family Association, a Recognized Service Organization of The Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod.
Copyright 1998 Lutheran Family
Association
No part of this publication may
be reproduced without prior permission from LFA.
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