Vol. 2, No. 3
September 1999

Ministry

New format for Family Notes—The mail and fax versions of Family Notes have a new format. With each issue, Family Connection provides statistics, comments, resource materials and quotes to guide your congregation's family ministry. Use them for sermon illustrations, bulletin fillers and discussion starters. Credit to Family Notes and the original source is appreciated. 

Tips to help spouse attend church—Prayer is always the place to start encouraging a spouse to attend church. Other suggestions: • Introduce to someone from church who shares his or her interests • Connect with people who have strong desire to grow spiritually, including friendships with people with Christian zeal • Seek out a pastor or church leader who can be a spiritual mentor. From HomeLife, Nov. 1998, as reported in Current Thoughts & Trends, February 1999

Guided by a dozen principles—Family ministry at Zion, Belleville, Ill., is based on 12 principles—including a definition of family that recognizes different life stages and a commitment to modeling family-friendly policies through its own workers. Every program and activity is filtered through these principles. Jill Hasstedt, director of Christian education, originally prepared them as part of a masters thesis and agreed to share with Family Connection. They have guided Zion’s family ministry since 1993. 

A comprehensive ministry to families—Among principles used at Zion: • focus on prevention and importance of families learning skills that enhance security and quality • helping all Christians see Christ as the center of their home • seeking to empower involve family members in servanthood • promoting the idea that families should be good stewards of their time, including staying home together. Points are copyrighted by Jill Hasstedt and used by permission. Jill Hasste@aol.com or (618) 233-2299

Learn to fight fairly—Learning communication skills will help couples "fight fairly." Set rules (like taking one issue at a time and only the two of you participate in the discussion). Then, play by the rules and discuss the issue instead of making personal attacks. The rewards are greater intimacy, insight to each other’s feelings and stronger relationships. "Tips for learning to fight fair," Member Assistance Program, LCMS Worker Benefits

Perspectives

Home-schooling rises in Colorado—Colorado educators report a 30 % to 40 % increase in home schooling following the Columbine shootings. Parents see home schooling as a way to protect their children. Pastor’s Weekly Briefing Permanence is key to successful marriages—An attitude that marriage is permanent is important for successful marriages. A study from the University of Nebraska, Lincoln, found couples who have more permissive attitudes toward divorce tended over time to experience declines in marital quality. Those with less permissive attitudes tended to experience improvements in marital quality. Fatherhood Today, March 1999 

School numbers—U.S. Census Bureau reports the number of students enrolled in U.S. elementary and secondary schools was 48 million in 1997—just under the record high of 49 million during the peak of the "baby boom." About 20 % of high school and elementary students have a foreign-born parent. Private school enrollments have risen to 4.5 million (see http://www.census.gov/population/www/
socdemo/school.html). Church Champions Update, July 2, 1999

Teens say Dad is doing okay—Gallup surveyed U.S. teens who live in households with both father and mother. Teens think Dad is trying hard to be a good father. They feel close to him, but think he has a hard time expressing affection. They think he should be the disciplinarian and that he measures up in the role. From Emerging Trends, Sept. 1998, and reported in Current Thoughts & Trends, March 1999

Cohabiting on the rise—U.S. Census Bureau reports 4.2 million cohabiting couples—up from 500,000 in 1970. Today, 1.5 million unmarried-couple households have children under age 15—compared to 196,000 in 1970. U.S. Census Bureau, Jan. 7, 1999

Women feel more stress—Worldwide, women are more likely than men to feel stress. In interviews with 1,000 people in each of 30 countries, Roper Starch Worldwide found women consistently report higher levels of stress: • more single women than men (17 % vs. 12 %) • more married women (21 % vs. 17 %) • more widows (21% vs. 10%) • more separated or divorced (28 % vs. 20 %) • more in unmarried couples (24 % vs. 19 %). Family, work and money are most common concerns. USA Today, Aug. 4, 1999

Quotes

The irony of cloning—"It is ironic that, at the close of the 20th century, a century that spent great time and effort to have sex without babies, now some want babies without sex" Cardinal John O’Connor in U.S. Catholic, Nov. 1997 and quoted in Current Thoughts & Trends, March 1999

Wisdom from kids — "Never ask your three-year-old brother to hold a tomato" . . . "You can’t trust dogs to watch your food" . . . "Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time." Great Truths about Life that Little Children Have Learned, via e-mail.

Connections

"Snapshots: Helping Families Grow Spiritually"—Two-and-a-half hour workshops offered by Concordia Publishing House promise a panorama of congregational family needs, zoom in on practical faith-building tools, develop 30 concrete ideas, enlarge family ministry concept and focus on 200 resources for families. They start in September and continue through next March at locations around the country. For specifics, including dates and presenters, see www.cph.org and click on workshops and presenters. Costs: $20 per participant or $95 for five or more from a congregation. Registration: 800-325-3040 

Family seminars for congregations—Watch for announcements of two series of regional seminars coming from Family Connection and LCMS Department of Family Ministry. Late in 1999 and in early 2000, they will offer a repeat of "Healthy Families: Healthy Congregations." This seminar assists congregations in starting family ministry and incorporates congregation experiences. Other seminars will be "advanced versions" for those who attended HF:HC workshops last year.

Sources

Family Life Issues are the focus of eight Bible studies from Concordia Publishing House. For individuals or groups, the topics include overcoming dysfunction, the "sandwich generation," finances, mothers, fathers, single parents, blended families and media. There are six sessions per volume in a discussion-based format for new and growing Christians. Family Life Issues, Concordia Publishing House, $4.50 each

Pointing men to godly character—Tin Man, Lion, Scarecrow and the Wizard, though fictional, provide teaching examples to help men grow in their wisdom and relationships. Author Bryan Salminen, a seminary professor, pastor and therapist, deals with the personal and professional obstacles that men face. Good Men, Bad Wizards, Concordia Publishing House, $12.99

To receive a copy of Family Notes email your request to Luthfam@lcms.org, or call 800-393-8918.

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