Vol. 2, No. 4
November 1999

Ministry

Link the generations in church—Youth need the influence, mentoring and heart involvement of godly Christian parents and other Christian adults to increase their integration as godly adults in the church, according to Stephen L. Haymond. " . . . Our youth spend most of their time with immature, foolish (and often ungodly) youth." He calls for family-based ministry that connects children and teenagers to the total body of Christ. Strategies for Today’s Leader

Teenagers need their parents to . . . love the Lord and His Word . . . love them [teens] unconditionally . . . act like adults . . . love each other . . . give them [teens] time... get to know them . . . communicate with them . . . help them find their talents and gifts . . . and pray for them. "Parenting isn’t solved by simple formulas," says Jerry Kastens, WELS Commission on Youth Discipleship administrator. "Any honest parent knows that being a parent requires commitment and effort." Northwestern Lutheran, January 1999

Perspectives

How they fight makes a difference—University of Washington researchers report that couples who escalate a fight are more likely to divorce. Beginning in 1990, using electronic sensors and videotapes of discussions of "hot button topics," researchers studied 124 couples in their 20s. They found five negative emotions to be toxic to marriage: contempt, defensiveness, criticism, belligerence and stonewalling. " . . . How you present an issue and how your partner responds to you is absolutely critical," said researcher John Gottman. Belleville News-Democrat, Sept. 29, 1999.

Adult use of Internet—More than 71% of adults with Internet access say they log on when they get home from work. A fourth "stay online all evening." Half say they watch TV less, although 52% say they watch TV while online. 84% play games on line. 81% of women use e-mail to keep in touch with friends and family. Greenfield Online research, quoted in Pastor’s Weekly Briefing, Oct. 14, 1999

Family is hot political topic—Look for politicians all along the spectrum to emphasize families. In part, their campaigns respond to polls that show family as a top worry among Americans. "The family values theme of prior elections has turned into an all-out race to capitalize on people’s feelings of inadequacy about the moral authority in their lives. It’s not about putting a chicken in every pot, but letting values flourish in every home," article says. Associated Press, June 18, 1999

Quotes

Murphy’s Laws for parents—"The tennis shoes you must replace today will go on sale next week" . . . "The garbage truck will be two doors past your house when the argument over whose day it is to take out the trash ends." Internet for Christians, Sept. 14, 1999 (www.gospel.com/ifc/)

Do something prehistoric—" . . . Its truth convicts us, and pushes us to do something slightly ‘prehistoric’—like turning off the tube and talking to our kids," says an editorial in the Aug. 11, 1999, St. Louis Post Dispatch following reports that the American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents keep young children (under age two) away from television.

Connections

Low rate offered for ‘Prepare-Enrich’—Thanks to a donation, there’s only a $30 cost for pastors to attend daylong "Prepare-Enrich" training to work with engaged and married couples. Seminar includes training to explore couples’ strength and growth areas, communication skills, resolving conflict, finances and developing goals. "Prepare-Enrich" includes a 165-item, computer-scored inventory for pastor’s use in counseling. Info: LCMS Department of Family Ministry, (800) 248-1930, Ext. 1716.

Healthy places for church workers—A think tank hosted by Wheat Ridge Ministries identified 14 characteristics of congregations that effectively address health needs of pastors, teachers and staff. Some qualities: • discussing and addressing issues of worker health, • worker care aligns with mission, • realistic expectations of workers, • salaries and benefits meet or exceed community standards, • staff are empowered and trusted to carry out their duties, • planning includes concern for worker health issues. Seeding Health and Hope, October 1999

Web site advises on porn addiction—Some 15 percent of Americans use the Internet for pornography and five percent are addicted, according to Steve Watters, an Internet research analyst for Focus on the Family. Watters says it’s an increasing problem among Christian leaders. The organization offers a web site (www.pureintimacy.org/online) to help pornography addicts and give advice for dealing with loved ones that are addicted. Pastors Weekly Briefing

Sources

Share your Family Notes—Family Notes provides statistics, comments, resource materials and quotes to guide your congregation’s family ministry. Use it for sermon illustrations, bulletin/newsletter items and discussion starters. Credit to Family Notes and the original source is appreciated.

Family Ministry Tool Kit—Family Connection, in partnership with the LCMS Department of Family Ministry and Lutheran Brotherhood, has developed a collection of 200-plus ideas and activities for family ministry. The ideas come from LCMS congregations active in family ministry. $39.99 (plus $5 shipping/handling), Family Connection, (800) 351-1001

Family resources—David Ebeling, facilitator-at-large for Concordia Publishing House, has compiled a 10-page annotated list of resources for spiritual growth in families. Topics range from newlyweds to grandparents. (800) 465-5548 or ebeling@cphnet.org

Helps for Internet use—A new web site has a goal to be a "click away" with resources for informed decisions about family use of the Internet. It includes online safety guides, tools for families, reporting trouble and web sites for kids. Site (www.getnetwise.org) is a partnership of Internet corporations and public interest organizations. Internet for Christians, Sept. 14. 1999 (www.gospel.com/ifc/)

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