Vol. 2, No. 1
March 1999

Ministry

Preventative Actions-About 100 cities have adopted "community marriage policies." Ministers who support the policy agree to uphold minimum standards for a couple to get married. Standards include classes on morality and making marriage work, extensive premarital counseling and work with a volunteer "mentor couple." Religion Today, quoted in Pastors Weekly Briefing, Feb. 19, 1999 

Families fight "Busyness"-"No time to 'be' family together" tops a list of items affecting family health ranked from comments gathered at 26 workshops held last fall by Lutheran Family Association. In second place is "lack of parental guidance." How can congregations help families? First among participants' comments was "through marriage and parenting help," followed by "celebrating mile-stones like baptisms, confirmation, anniversaries." 

Get ready for "graying of America"-National Christian senior citizens organization says the church needs to prepare for imminent "graying" of society. Senior adult population is growing three times faster than national population rate. One in every five U.S. citizens is 65 or older. Religion in America quoted in Pastors Weekly Briefing, Sept. 11, 1998

Stepfamilies and teen suicides-Teens in stepfamily relationships are more vulnerable to suicidal behavior (38%) than those living in a single-parent family (20%), according to a study in American Journal of Orthopsychiatry. Study found 9% of teens from intact families are suicidal. The authors said the vulnerability in remarried families may be due to less family interaction and higher levels of stress." AFA Journal, Nov./Dec. 1998

Perspectives

Media sets norms, extremes-Media may not be the direct cause of kids killing kids, but they do shape the norms-and norms determine extreme behavior, writes David Walsh, president of National Institute on Media and the Family. "As our culture becomes more and more aggressive and violent, then the extreme expressions of it will inevitably be more grotesque," he states. The Good Shepherd, Winter, 1998

Living together linked to divorce-The National Marriage Project at Rutgers University summarizes studies from the past decade. Report says living together erodes a couple's ability to commit, as well as their faith in the institution of marriage. A 1992 study found couples who live together before marriage were 46% more likely to divorce. Associated Press, February 1999

Father facts-Among facts from National Fatherhood Institute: ? An estimated 24.7 million children (36.3% of U.S. population) live without their biological father ? almost 17 million children (25%) live with their single mothers ? Four out of 10 first marriages end in divorce; 60% of divorcing couples have children; over 1 million children each year experience divorce of parents ? 1.25 million (32%) of all births in 1995 were out-of-wedlock ? one out of every six children is a stepchild. NFI Fatherhood Today

Marriage and healthy behavior-Study of 4,400 married and widowed people over age 65 found that married people are more likely than widowed people to: ? wear seat belts ? be physically active ? have blood pressure checked ? eat breakfast ? not smoke. The "benefits" of marriage were greater for men than for women. Wellness Letter, University of California, Berkeley, February 1999.

Resources

Family Ministry in Lutheran Schools-LCMS Department of School Ministry has provided in-service materials to all Lutheran schools. Video and print materials help teachers be more sensitive to family needs and more able to help families in times of difficulty. Kit covers 16 topics from characteristics of family-friendly schools to dealing with community disasters. Info: 800-248-1930, Ext. 1293

Listen first, speak later-Ten biblical principles lay an outline for rebuilding interpersonal communication in families. Start by emphasizing listening and thinking before saying anything. Other steps encourage "speaking the truth in love" and practicing forgiveness. The book is Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak: Living Out the Language of Love in Your Family Relationships by Robert Fisher (Living Books, 1987)

Quotes

Especially the jokes-A mother taught her three-year old daughter the Lord's Prayer. For several evenings, the little girl repeated it after her mother. Then, she was ready to solo. Mom listened with pride as her daughter enunciated every word right up to the end. She finished: ". . . And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from e-mail. Amen." Received by e-mail

Do as we say-"It's interesting. Often, we get upset with men because they won't leave their families and come to our [men's ministry] meetings so that we can tell them they should spend more time with their families." Pat Morley, quoted in New Man, May 1998

Honor your children-"We honor children when we participate in activities with them rather than constantly doing things to and for them. We honor children when we celebrate who they are rather than trying to always fix what is broken. God is the only one that can ultimately fix brokenness." Judy Christian, director LCMS Child Ministry 

Don't downplay divorce-"Leadership does a disservice in downplaying the devastation that divorce has had on our children, our families, our communities and our churches. I think that pollster Louis Harris should dig a little deeper before he reports on this important topic and down-plays a tragedy in a country with the worst record of broken marriages in the entire world." Comments from Rev. Jeffrey Meyers, Lenexa, Kan., in response to "Debunking a Statistic" in the September Family Notes.

Connections

Men's ministry works-Gene Weber, co-chair of the family ministry team at King of Kings, Chesterfield, MO, shares experience of men's ministry in the upcoming May-June issue of LFA Journal. He includes comments from participants in congregations' men's ministry: ? "Shifted my focus away from work and back toward God and Family" ? "Helped me look for ways where Christ can work through me" ? "Strengthened my leadership role in my family and in church" ? "Taught me the importance of being a Man of God" ? "Highlighted the importance of Bible study and prayer." More info: King of Kings (314) 469-2224

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