Family Connection

May/June 1999

We will listen! 1-800-351-1001

How can your family 
reach out to others?

Index of Articles

What's In YOUR Garage?

Faith Talk

Resource For Families

If Christ is Real, Prove It!

6 SIMPLE Ways for Families to 
Reach Out to Others

Prayers & Promises: Praying for Loved Ones Who Don't Know the Lord

The Prayer-Promise Connection

Making Home a Grace Place. Call 1-800-351-1001

What's In YOUR Garage?

by Melanie Wilson

I think you can tell a lot about people just by looking in their garages. In fact, I have come up with my own garage personality types. 

First, there's the obsessive-compulsive. You know the type. The rakes, brooms and tools are all hung up neatly. The car parked inside is regularly washed and waxed. 

Then there's the procrastinator. Often there isn't room for a car because the garage is filled with parts, tools and miscellaneous junk that will probably never be used.

Because my husband and I have recently been trying to sell our home, I have spent some time thinking about what my garage says about me. No matter how carefully I try to hide the things in my garage that make me look bad, God knows exactly what's in my garage and why. For everything that is stored up in my garage was first stored up in my heart.

Luke 6:45 tells us that the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart. I do, indeed, have some good things stored in my garage. My children's car seats and strollers say that I value my children. The numerous lawn chairs show that I love to entertain family and friends. My hail-pelted family sedan proves that I am more practical than vain. 

Regrettably, there are quite a few not-so-good things stored up in my garage as well. You see, whenever I have a problem, I behave like so many of us do; I try to spend my way out of it. To clean my garage, my first inclination is to go to a pricey organizational store and buy hundreds of dollars’ worth of shelving, containers and books on how to have an organized garage. Even if I were to succeed in assembling an organizational system, I doubt it would keep my garage clean for very long. In fact, I'm quite certain it would not.

Looking around the garage, I see many failed attempts to change my heart by spending money. I see the bike, in-line skates and protective gear that were supposed to make me committed to fitness once and for all. I see the high-tech baby gizmos that promised to make me an even-tempered mom. I see the car organizers that should have made me a tidy driver. All the money I spent did help me clean up my act for a little while, but a few days later my garage—and my heart—were as messy as ever.

The good news for you and me is that God can keep our heart's garage clean for free. Here's how:

§ Consider how your "garage" got to be a mess in the first place. Make a list of foolish purchases, including items that didn't work, were overpriced, and were never or rarely used. Next to each item on your list, write what you were trying to accomplish. Were you trying to impress other people? Lose weight? Be more organized?

§ Acknowledge that you are powerless to keep your "garage" clean by yourself. Avoid falling into the trap of being determined to conquer your problems on your own. Instead of thinking, "If I buy a double stroller, I know I can be physically fit and a better mom," remind yourself, "I can't clean up my life myself, but God can."

§ Confess to God that you have served other gods and ask His forgiveness for using money, self-help books, programs, equipment and technology to try to solve problems only He can solve. 

§ Accept His forgiveness, which is freely given because Jesus Christ made the ultimate sacrifice to redeem us. Gather up all the symbols of your failed attempts to change yourself and give them away. Your garage will be that much cleaner, and your heart will be too! 

Melanie Wilson, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and stay-at-home mom to two sons. She lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with husband Mark and attends Christ Memorial Lutheran Church.

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Faith Talk

by Bill Diekelman

The garage is my hideaway–home to tools and hobbies, a warehouse for seasonal equipment. The garage is cold in winter, hot in summer. I don't get much uninvited company when I retreat there.

During one of those late winter days when the temperature climbs to deceptive heights, I invited Nathan, home from college for the weekend, to help organize the accumulated winter clutter. It was the first time in a long time the two of us spent the day together—a day we needed, only we didn't know it until it happened. It turned out to be a day of "relative moments." 

As we worked, we found a way to talk about past issues that hadn't been dealt with completely. We used words to deal with some issues; laughter, nods, touch to deal with others. We cleaned much more than the garage. 

We also cleaned more of the garage than we'd intended. In fact, we ended up taking everything out. We discovered some things were broken and in need of repair. Other things were no longer needed, so we discarded them. The important things we held on to and organized. 

After sweeping the floor, we found a few more things that needed to be dealt with. So we swept those corners, too. Finally we cleaned off the shelves and workbench and put everything away. We stood back, arms around one another’s shoulders, and looked at the completed task with a sense of accomplishment. It was time well spent, for many reasons.

Running out of time seems to be a common feeling these days. We're on the treadmill of life, running from one obligation to the next, so full of urgent things there's no time left for important things. Christian families aren't excluded from this "tyranny of the urgent." Church work can even be the biggest culprit. But the God who created family can't be pleased if we spend all our time doing church work. He wants us to have balance—to step back and see what is important, not urgent.

Important things are always relational—our relationships with God, spouse, family, friends. The most significant, essential things in our lives are often dismissed or put on hold because they don't clamor for our attention as loudly as the urgent things. 

So how can we create special "relative moments" like the kind I had with Nathan that day in the garage? Well, we can't. The unforgettable embraces, the priceless conversations, the life-changing talks can't be scheduled or anticipated. They happen when we're just hanging out, "doing time" together. 

The challenge, then, is two-fold: 1) to spend time together as a family and individually with each family member, and 2) to recognize and seize each "relative moment" as it happens.

And God reminds me that just as there is a place for everything in my garage, there is a time for everything, and time for everything. 

Rev. Bill Diekelman is pastor of Faith Lutheran Church in Owasso, Oklahoma, and president of the LCMS Oklahoma District. He and wife Carol have six children.

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Resources for Families

Find spiritual encouragement and learn to enjoy the beauty all around you in Emilie’s Creative Home Organizer, Updated and Revised by Emilie Barnes (Harvest House Publishers). Includes practical tips for keeping the house organized, raising children and staying on top of other commitments. 

Stimulate interesting discussions around the dinner table or while driving in the car with 201 Great Questions by Jerry D. Jones (NavPress). The questions get people thinking about values, faith, self and God. Most appropriate for families with children twelve and older.

Learn how to seize special moments and to teach your children values with 501 Practical Ways to Teach Your Children Values by Bobbie Reed, Ph.D. (CPH). Find out how to help kids "own" each value and practice it in daily life.

Dig into God's Word with a Bible study on time management, Living With Too Little Time, by Lori Hayes Aadsen (CPH). This study is part of CPH’s Christian Support Study Series and is appropriate for individuals or groups.

Consider how the different personality types in your family affect communication and relationships when you read Taming the Family Zoo: Maximizing Harmony and Minimizing Stress by Jim and Suzette Brawner (NavPress). Learn how to value and encourage each member of your "family zoo."

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If Christ Is Real, Prove It!

by Paul Klopke

"Dad, we don't need to have family devotions anymore," my ten-year-old son announced. "They have devotions each morning at our new Lutheran school."

"My son," I replied. "We will continue to have family devotions."

Although my son had other ideas, I consider having family devotions an important element in my call as a father and husband. I regard my children as treasures from God, and I strive to raise them with loving care. Ephesians 6:4 tells fathers to bring up [your children] in the training and instruction of the Lord. During our family devotions, we read a Bible story together, discuss it and try to apply it to our lives. Then we pray about what we have learned and any other needs that may arise.

Through devotions our family has grown together in the the Lord. We have also learned to reach out to others in a very concrete and personal way.

It was a cold Sunday morning in November when Michael came to Living Christ Lutheran Church for a cup of coffee and some doughnuts. I had just finished preaching the sermon when an elder told me a homeless man needed a place to stay for the night. I invited Michael home for dinner. As we visited, he offered me this challenge: "If Christ is real, prove it!"

Michael didn't have a car or any possessions. What he wanted most—his children—he was denied. After dinner I took Michael to a homeless shelter to spend the night. The next day I took him to a local counseling center. Michael also spent some time in the hospital. During those weeks, my children lifted Michael up in prayer during our family devotions. "Watch over Michael," they prayed." "Help him to have faith in God." "Give him a home and a chance to see his children."

About a month later, Michael came to see me again. He told me he needed a job, a car, a chance to regain visitation rights with his children. "If Christ is real, prove it!" 

Once again, my children prayed during our devotional time. Members of our congregation's prayer chain prayed, too. And God answered those prayers. Through the help of a Christian social ministry organization and another area church, Michael was given a place to live and a car. God also provided a job for him. 

But that's not the end of answered prayers. Michael has been attending church with his two sons and comes to a one-on-one confirmation class. When he completes his instruction, Michael would like to be baptized.

For me, the neatest thing about this story (besides the way God is working in Michael's life) is that my children have learned how to be Christ's hands, feet, voice and heart to needy people around them. They have learned that putting love into action is one of the ways God "proves" He is real to those who seek Him. 

Rev. Paul Klopke is pastor of Living Christ Lutheran Church in Arlington Heights, Illinois, where he lives with his wife, Julie, and children, Philip and Jillian.

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6 SIMPLE Ways for Families to Reach Out to Others

1. Pray for your neighbors by name. Make a list of your neighbors and intercede for one household each day. Use the Scriptures suggested in this issue, and pray that your home will shine with the light of Christ.

2. Hold a mini-VBS. Invite neighbor children over for a summer afternoon. Organize a few games, have a snack, and do a craft that teaches a Bible story.

3. Take your children or grandchildren with you to shop for items for the needy. Involve the children in selecting things, wrapping them (if at holiday time) and delivering them. Let the children catch the joy of giving through your enthusiasm.

4. Take your children or grandchildren with you to serve a meal at a church or homeless shelter.

5. As a family, sponsor a child in a third-world country. Pray for and write to your sponsored child together.

6. Use special events (holidays, graduations, birthdays, anniversaries) as witnessing opportunities. Use Christian symbols on table decorations, place cards or banners. Include Scripture or a mini-devotion with your table prayer.

Family Connection is also available in Spanish, Braille and large print.

Family Connection can be ordered in bulk for the families in your church, Sunday School, day school or preschool. 

Visit our website http://lfa.lcms.org

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Prayers & Promises: Praying for Loved Ones Who Don't Know the Lord

by Janice Kerper Brauer

Those who have family members or close friends who don't know Jesus as Savior and Lord carry a special burden. They may pray for their loved ones for years and years without seeing any "results." 

As we pray for the spiritual welfare of others, it helps so much if we remember the promises of God. His heart's desire is that all people be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4). He also promises that when we pray according to His will, He hears and answers (1 John 5:14-15).

If you long for someone you love to come to faith, focus your prayers on the promises and the will of God. Consider praying specific Scripture verses for that person. When we pray Scripture, we know we are praying according to God's will, and we know He will hear us!

• No one can come to me [Jesus] unless the Father who sent me draws him (John 6:44). Pray for God to draw your loved one to Himself. 
• I [the Lord] have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness (Jeremiah 31:3). Pray for your loved one to understand the depth of God's love and to feel that love drawing him or her to God. 
• You will seek me [the Lord] and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Jeremiah 29:13). Pray for the Holy Spirit to cause your loved one to seek God wholeheartedly. 
• Faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ (Romans 10:17). Pray for your loved one to hunger for God's Word and to believe it is true. 
• Other seed fell on good soil and yielded a crop, some hundred fold, some sixty, and some thirty (Matthew 13:8). Pray for the Holy Spirit to prepare your loved one's heart and make it good soil for the Gospel. 
• The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field (Matthew 9:37-38). Pray for the Lord to send someone to share the good news with your friend. (And be willing for that "someone" to be you!) 
• It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick … For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners (Matthew 9:12-13). Pray that your loved one realizes he or she is a sinner and needs the Savior. 
• I [Jesus] tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven (Matthew 18:3). Pray that your loved one turns to Jesus in child-like simplicity. 
• By grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8). Pray for your loved one to receive God's free gift of salvation through faith. 
• Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith ... and overflowing with thankfulness (Colossians 2:6-7). Pray for your loved one to grow strong in Christ and to live with thankfulness and joy. 

The following helpful tracts by CPH are available through Family Connection:

• "Please Help Me! My Spouse is Unchurched" 
• "Please Help Me! My Grandchildren Don't Go to Church" 
• "Why Can't I Get My Children to Go to Church?" 

The Prayer-Promise Connection 

The Family Connection staff prays each morning for the concerns of our friends, readers and callers. If you would like us to pray for you or someone you love, call 1-800-351-1001 or write to us, using the response form below. (All requests are kept confidential). 

The Prayer-Promise Connection

Family Connection welcomes the opportunity to pray for our friends and callers. 

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